Fast Food for Fidget

Chris and I are the kind of people that really enjoy cooking at home.  We grill, we sautee, we bake; we'll try almost any recipe once.  Considering our frequency in the kitchen, the other night we decided that a little fast food was deserved as an alternative to playing chef.  I volunteered to make the drive to one of our favorite indulgences:  Steak N' Shake.  Oh, how I adore their Hershey's Special Dark milkshakes and their little sliders with buffalo sauce.  Since Chris is a sucker for a side-by-side, banana/strawberry shake, it was an easy decision.  So, I slipped on some tennis shoes and headed to the front door...only to come across a large stripey barrier.

Fidget had positioned himself next to the front door and looked up at me with those big doe eyes as if to say, "Cheeseburger, please?"  I explained to him that kittens generally did not digest steak well, therefore he would be sampling none of our dinners that night.  Then suddenly, Fidget turned into a fluffy vortex and *threw* himself against the glass of the front door.  He began crying and pawing arduously at the transparent force field in front of him, pleading for...well, something.  After a few minutes of failing to get out the door peacefully, I caved in and made a pact with Fidget that if he could come along for the ride, there would be NO BEGGING.  Fidg was thrilled, and the journey began.

So there I was, in my cute little yellow VW Beetle, trying to manuever a manual transmission with a 13.5 lb. cat on my lap.  Fidget *insists* on sitting in someone's lap while in the car.  When he was a kitten and 1/4 the size he is now, it wasn't a big deal.  But now, his love for car rides has grown, along with the size of his ass.  It's difficult to turn when he has wedged himself between my body and the wheel, but I managed and we soon made it across town to the drive in.  *Disclaimer*  While I'm a horrible example, I do not recommend driving with fat cats in your lap.

We pulled up to the speaker, I rolled down my window, and began with:  "Yes, could I please get a #3 withMEOW!...uh, with a side-byMEOW!...Fidget, shut up!  With a side-by-side shake..."  I suppose The Fatmaster could smell the titillating smell of fries wafting through the air and just couldn't help but exclaim his desire.  I was able to barricade Fidget into the passenger's seat for a moment while I ordered and then continued up to the window.  We rolled around the side of the building to receive our bounty, and Fidget usurped my lap, once again.  Turns out, the employees of Steak N' Shake are some serious cat people.  The window attendant took my money and then proceeded to yell to the rest of her staff, "Hey, ya'll!  There's a cat in the window!"  Fidget was a celebrity for approximately 4 minutes of his life.  One grease thrower told me that he had a cat that looked *just* like Fidget.  Right, thanks, kid.  A server said that she was impressed by the color of his lovely blue eyes.  Yes, his eyes are pretty and he knows it.  The manager of the establishment, a large, grease-stained gentleman with a considerable amount of ink in his epidermis only managed to squeak out, "oooOOOH!  Look at the kitty!"  Fidget basked in the glory, talking to the staff until our food was cold and the shakes were half-melted.  They even gave me a free Coca-Cola glass as part of a "promotion."  I finally pulled the plug on Fidg's brief shining moment and rolled up the window, much to Fidget's distress.  We sped home to share the news (and our fries with Henry) and true to his word, Fidget fell asleep and partook in absolutely no begging.