Fidget's Crime Ring

"Where on earth is my Chapstick?"
"I could have sworn I had a pen in there."
"Honey, have you seen my earrings?"

These are common phrases at our house.  Having already entertained the idea that we have a poltergeist in the house or that we are developing Alzheimer's at the age of 25, it has been uncovered that Fidget is a devious little thief.  This is not to say that the other felines in the house don't have a part in stealing/hiding/shredding/knocking things over--but I imagine it is probably Fidget who runs this circle of organized larceny.  I think they should all have little kitty mugshots hanging on the fridge and if they are "arrested," they will be thrown into "The Slammer," which is the large dog crate we have for Tuxedo.

Moose, a.k.a. "Stoneface."  Most recently arrested for loitering in the sink and possession of a controlled substance (catnip).

Henry, a.k.a. "Ninja."  Last arrested for breaking and entering the cabinets and assault with a deadly weapon.

Buck, a.k.a. "Stinky."  Last arrested for excessive flinging of litter and participation in gang activity.

Fidget, a.k.a. "Boss."  Last arrested for organizing crime, 206 counts of theft, resisting arrest, agg. battery and hoarding food.

Fidget is by far the bravest of all our little fuzzy criminals.  It takes a lot of guts to boldly search through someone's purse in search of the good stuff.  Fidget is quite skilled at diving head first into my bag and goes straight to the bottom for the pens, coins, receipts, etc.  He knows exactly which pocket the Chapstick and lip gloss is kept in as well, for maximum efficiency.  I have found him sleeping on the job, however, on more than one occasion.  Head and front paws in the bag, butt and tail outside the bag.  Now *that's* a hardened criminal.

Now, I know you're all probably thinking, "wow...this girl is way too imaginative with her damn cats."  But no, in all honesty, the Fantastic Fuzzy Four do work together as a team to make our lives just a little more annoying.  In fact, Chris and I recently had a very successful sting operation.  We found the motherlode, the cache, the stash, the HQ:

We will continue our constant fight against crime, and we are always on the lookout for "probable cause" to detain these unlawful little critters.  One day we may be able to take down "Boss" and his army of minions, but until that victorious day, we'll continue to pull the 200 lb. refrigerator out from the wall on a regular basis.